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Erroreffervesce emotions boiling up inside my head
they draw my tears
out on my palette of a cheek.
eyes flare red and it's all I can see
and all I can read and all I can breathe
there's something wrong in there!
I look without moving around the dreams between my ears
it's not working right,
beneath my ribs it hurts,
my legs won't run anymore.
I can't focus, watch, learn with all of the
breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out
Error Error Error Error
and it's gone.
I put the basketball down.
Another year lostAnother year passes,
Another day fades away,
Another chance lost,
As my body starts to decay.
Another heart to be broken,
Another tear to be cried,
Another friendship to end,
As my life is swept aside.
Another mistake to be made,
Another lie to be told,
Another bond to be broken,
As I begin to fold.
I remember this day,
As a symbol of my life,
Another broken man,
Who has no strengh left to fight.
Our CloudAtop a great cloud; we simply sit
From here it is where we gaze
O' faraway lands, may you embrace our grace?
It is just that; the freedom of flight
To stay on our present course
I mustn't ask this cloud if it may float astray!
We must stay this way; to put it or leave without fit?
This is our cloud; We may be loud or even proud.
Just remember; it is from here we gaze and watch.
Faraway lands; Take us in your embrace!
Winter LamentUpon secret meanings the winter stream does flow,
Cold and fast, sharp and clear,
Carrying the remnants of summer along -
Fallen leaves now brown and wet,
Rushing and rocking like ships in a storm;
See them sail away down stream,
To the land beyond ours,
Where poetry and pipe smoke lingers upon
The cool wintery air for others to find,
And wine flows like words, red, deep and copious.
(13th November 2012)
StayShe sat on the window sill contemplating. Just contemplating. Should she jump? Or should she just go on. She was sitting on a boundary line. Death on one side and pain on the other. She swung her leg down just to see...just to see how it felt. She shuddered. Was she ready for this? Her mind was like a storm of broken mirrors. Each piece reflecting a small shard of her life. Some happy memory flitted by and along came some deeply felt grief. She put her hands in her hair, tearing at them wildly. Should she stay or should she go? Tears streamed down her face. Glistening diamond like in the sun. Music streamed in towards the window. Beautiful, slow and extremely comforting. It was Marko again and he always made her stay. Always.
The LakeStaring into the glass reflection shining below
Placing my hand into the silver liquid that flows
Slipping slowly into the water to feel its cold bite
Swimming away from the edge deeper into the lake
Limbs are freezing yet feel so alive
Lungs are burning from swimming to far
Turning slowly to begin the trip back
A current catches my legs and rips me under
Can't reach the surface
Air is escaping from empty lungs
A shimmer of light above the glass cage
Burning blood that prays for oxygen
My still form lying at the bottom
In a deep permanent slumb
38. trustIt is a matter of perception
And is also a matter of interpretation
Trust, a funny thing it truly is
But how do we live our lives around it?
Do you trust me because you know me
Or is that the reason for your distrust?
You have parts of me
That no one else will ever have
But you seem to be unaware
Or is it just not enough?
I trusted you because you never gave me a reason not to
But now that you have, how do I piece it back together?
I am lost in my mind
As the realizations set in
What I had not seen at first
Is slowly setting in
Is it worse to have suspicion though nothing done
Or betray promises made to seek your own truth?
Nothing to LoseThere's nothing to lose
When no one knows what you going through
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
Deep in my heart
Its an endless spiral of pain
Don't you know what I am fighting for?
When it's not worth to go through all this pain
When you feel you are don't know where to go
When walking on the path on broken glass
Feel like that something from your life is drifting away
Is it worth to try pull it back?
It's just a slap to my face by reality
Slammed the door behind me
A dozen reasons ran through my mind
Standing there, crying
Wondering if it could have gone better?
All I need is a second chance
*Ferryman*Charon are you still alive?
For those of us who don't survive
Services needed our souls await
Fare's paid we're here by gate.
River Styx cannot navigate
Ferryman needed, tired of wait
We have received burial rites
Our souls are pure, Charon tonight!
The Worst...The worst wasn't that you weren't open with me,
or knowing that you didn't try,
or even when you dropped me like a box of rocks.
The worst was when you told me you loved me...
...when you obviously didn't.
The InevitableIt has been ten years of trying to ignore the inevitable.
Wishing and praying for more time.
Wishing I could stop every clock
and keep him here as mine.
Remembering sunsets on the water and brown eyes.
Those were our best days.
Before frightening 12 am phone calls
and his extended hospital stays.
I tell myself I've known all along
and still it leaves me feeling so unprepared.
I never did stop loving him.
There were no secrets left unshared.
Time seems to be passing faster now.
This panic makes it harder for me to breathe.
I spend my spare moments bargaining with God.
Does he really have to leave?
I know I will fall apart
Shock WavesFaces scream of silent pain
Bodies twisted by desires
In castles we build relentlessly
Feelings are forever hidden
Steel and concrete replaced
Pure living and survival
In glass towers beasts indulging
On their unborn children
Let the shock waves come
And pulse through all repulsive
Let them break our brains
And return us to nothing
Gold that serves no purpose
Made-up money with no value
Grins are painted on the walls
Where nobody is laughing
Willingly we blind ourselves
Willingly we chain our bodies
Take the pills they give you
Take sterilised happiness
Let the shock waves come
And burn us 'till we're black
Let the citie
Winter HeartFrozen solid, her heart will not beat,
Summer over, arctic winds won’t retreat,
All warmth and light has fled,
And you won’t last long there,
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter,
A winter heart, all dead.
The snow falling your love a breeze,
You won’t last long, you'll just freeze
Icicles from the past have froze her core,
Only warm hearts will change the season
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter
A winter heart, you've fallen for
Fear the UnknownThrough all the blood and teardrops,
I've learned to fear holding your hand.
I need you to know that I'm not that strong,
and that I know it's hard to understand.
I've made a promise to hold you up,
but in the end is that really enough?
You're resting in the hands of a broken soul
that's still inches beneath the ground.
Never Really AloneTake me on an adventure, I'm ready for the ride, though life may seem normal I can make it out to be more than what turns in the tides. I know not the future. I know not the past. But if there's one thing that I know for sure is that this love will last. No matter thick and thin, no matter how weak the bond, every single day I've thought of you and I've hung on. I've had visions, I've had dreams and I can feel it in my bones, the lonely nights I've been crying now I know that I was never really alone.
RunningIn. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Breathe. Let your lungs stretch to their fullest extent. The frigid air is yours. Take it.
Push yourself further. Feel the wind blow in your face. Experience the contrast of the cool rain against your hot, sweaty skin. Feel the adrenaline course through your pounding veins. Ignore the sick feeling in your stomach. Embrace the rawness in your throat.
Work harder than you ever have. Let your legs stride out more. Pump your arms faster. Pick up your knees. Push off the ground. All of your training has led up to this moment. All the work in the blistering heat, the sweat running down your face, th
AutumnThe beginning of autumn. You don't really notice it. It sort of creeps up on you.
It's the beginning of a new season, a new fraction of the year.
But you're so busy with school starting, juggling friends, family, and sports, that you don't notice the first orange leaves, the first thin clouds floating lazily above your head.
But when autumn has officially arrived, it's hard to miss. The crisp, fresh air begins to carry a bit of a chill. Each morning holds a little more fog, and the crunch of leaves beneath your boots becomes sharper. The cheer of summer has faded, and been replaced by the concentrated seriousness of fall. The g
I wonder if you're enjoying
the curvature of her back.
The spine, a row of ossified crowns
crowded and curved around that defining neural superhighway;
that extension cord,
adventurously connecting the visceral
to the peripheral.
The horseshoe crab vertebrae
scuttle to break through skin at your touch;
a defining shiver.
I see your hands
around the rounded hills of her shoulders.
Scapulae jutting out with the extremity of the bend,
like a chicken's wings.
And the bands of these dorsal muscles
stand up like wings,
cast shadows in the dimples of the pelvis that she lifts;
that will fold o
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More